Happy Ash wednesday!

anyone who knows me knows that I'm not a religious person. I grew up in a catholic home. Went to church every Sunday until I was in high school. I went to Sunday school all the way until confirmation. I can't tell you the last time I went to mass. I actually get a lot of mass when I attend. For some reason I stopped going. I'm not sure when I stopped or way but I did. I really don't have a desire to go right now. I do still believe in God and I pray a lot actually. I think we all need to have our own relationship with God, whatever that may be. From what I was taught he will wait for you to come around and he is willing to have whatever relationship you are able to have with him.

All that being said, I still respect some of the catholic traditions. I still give something up every year for lent. I try my best to not eat meat on fridays and ash wednesday. I know the reason behind these traditions, and i kind of like them. I don't know why this still means something to be, but oh well.

This year for lent I decided not to make a deal with God, but a deal with myself. I think that making myself happier will also make God happy, since he wants all of us to be happy anyway. I am giving up giving myself reasons to not work out and fast food. The first day went well. I actually went for a run outside, it was only a mile but it felt awesome. I haven't been trying very hard at working out, or eating better for that matter. I need to step it up. I know I can do this if I just put my mind to it.

My best friend is getting married in June and I want to look great for it. She and my other best friend have been working out like crazy ladies and they look great! So jealous! I will get my ass back into gear. The hardest step is the first one right? here goes nothing!

world champs

Ok....I know everyone know how big of a cardinals fan I am. I cannot tell you how much the cardinals 2011 run meant to me. I was awesome. I have never watched a better game than game 6 of this world series. i know no manager has ever retired after winning the world series. Also Albert...god how could I forget him. He broke my baseball heart. I honestly can say I thought he was for more than just money, I guessed wrong. His wife said they thought they would get more out of the cards than 5 years, how long do you think your husband can play? 5 years is a great offer! More than that would be crazy. Albert isn't 21 anymore. Its time to realize that he is getting old and he isn't going to produce like he did when he was younger.

Anyway I still love my cards!!! If you know my I'm very crazy about them. I love them. I want nothing but the best for them...no matter who they get in trades. that being said....Go Cards!!!

long time no post

ok...I know its be forever since I posted. I know like no one reads, so I guess no know cares. I've been going thru a lot right now. I'm trying to make me a better version of myself. I know I have my faults, but I'm trying to get over those. I'm trying to be less judgemental, its part of my new years goals...(  I believe in goals, they are easier to achieve). Since making that goal I've been able to be more open to other co workers. i've be able to not judge strangers. It felt great!  I got this goal from my good friend Kim. She is wonderful! She makes me want to be a better person! I'm really trying! I know I have it in me. I'm not sure when or where I became so judgemental. I never used to be this person. I wasn't raised in a family had money at its core. I always valued relationships over money. But, unfortunally I became the person I didn't want to be.

Last year I did some horrible. I ruined my friendship with the first person I trusted in KC. It was my fault. I don't blame anyone execpt me. I know I was in fault. I will never be able to make up what I did. That being said, I can't take back what I did. I know she will never forgiven me, and that is ok. I said my piece with it. I'm moving on. I wish her nothing but the best. I know she can be a great person. I hope nothing but happiness in her life. She really is a nice person at heart.

Since this whole thing I've been really trying to work on myself. I want to be the kind of person that I want to be friends with. I think I have been really good at this. Recently I  became friends with a girls at work that I didn't know very well. I find that I really enjoy having her at work. Its nice to find a different side of someone you work with.

I guess this whole post is about that the person I was and who I want to be. I want to be the person a friend goes to with a problem and I can help them come up with a solution. I feel horrible about what happened in the past but that is the past and I must move on. Thanks for reading!